sukerokucchi:

bax16:

sukerokucchi:

When I think about Joseph’s situation I can’t help but feel sad for him. He’s a gay man forcing himself to remain in a marriage for the sake of his children and image. It’s a selfish thing to do, but Joseph has the right to be selfish for the sake of his family and community. He has to live up to the image of the perfect family man to give hope for members of the community while lying to himself that he is happy, a claim supported by Mary herself. Not only that, I feel like he takes back a lot of what he says out of fear of the unknown. To me I’m not surprised by the fact that he wants to stay with Mary because let’s be real, they have been together for at least 10 years and have 4 kids, and to suddenly be hit with the realization “my life will never be the same again” is a fear everyone has especially parents. I think, “I wonder how long Craig and Hugo struggled with these same doubts before they official called it quits with their exes.”

It seemed that the only person who Joseph connected with was Robert because they just seem so similar, broken men but Joseph keeps up this front that everything is fine in his life. He still has his wife and kids that can enter his mind whenever he thinks it’s time for him to end his failing marriage unlike Robert who no longer has his wife and kids. Being around Robert probably allowed Joseph to be himself and Robert was responsive to Joseph too, which is why they connected sexually, maybe romantically. It seems like Joseph still has some sort of feelings for him, why else would Joseph have a picture of Robert wearing his blue sweater? That sounds like some kind of feeling is there. (I mean, Joseph doesnt even offer it to MC lol) But I do think Joseph used Robert as an outlet for his sexual feelings towards men because it was probably the first time Joseph had been with a man, at least before he was with Mary. Joseph doesn’t seem like the guy to sleep around with just anyone. Robert connected with Joseph unlike the other dads. If Joseph has slept with Hugo, Damien, Craig, Mat, or Brian but there is nothing saying he has, just Robert. I think MC was about to create a connection that hasn’t existed with anyone since Robert. But just like with MC, I feel like Joseph dismissed his relationship with Robert as a “one night” thing because he didn’t (refused) to see it as him falling for Robert, which hurt Robert because was being used. So Joseph backtracks on his words and feelings because it’s so hard to break from a destructive routine/living situation because the life he leads now it safer. 

I love Joseph, and I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be not being able to be true to yourself. It reminds me of my cousin who would get black out drunk, smoke, and have one night stands because he didn’t know how to admit to himself and people in his life that he was gay. He drowned himself in alcohol, drugs, and sex for over a year before he told his parents and my parents that he was gay, and his destructive way slowly started to diminish. During this time, he would talk to me and nothing I said would deter him from his destructive habits, it wasnt until he accept himself enough to tell the our family he was gay that things improved greatly for him. I see a little of my cousin in Joseph. Joseph has his own destructive habits though.

hold on though

I always got the impression that Robert initiated that encounter as a one night stand, same way he did with the MC. I mean, it is kinda his thing to sleep with someone and then ignore em completely until he gets horned up again…

I do remember Joseph mentioning that Robert is the one who initiated it, but personally, I feel like there was more to it than that. I feel like Robert knew Joseph was married and noticed the failing marriage, and divorce was on everyone mind (but did not happen of course) and Robert got the impression that he and Joseph could be together in the end. Something along those lines. He saw how Joseph was around him and thought his feelings were mutual, but Joseph ended up crawling back to his wife. 

Yeah haha. My interpretation is kind of….all over the place. But I do think Joseph was telling the truth, but Robert probably thought it was going to be more than just a one night thing